


Oh my god...It's Bucky Barnes

by DarknessRises



Category: Black Friday - Team StarKid, Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Crossover, I'm Sorry, M/M, Screenplay/Script Format, shitpost
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:35:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23797774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarknessRises/pseuds/DarknessRises
Summary: I couldn't get it out of my head.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 3
Kudos: 11





	Oh my god...It's Bucky Barnes

_ [Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff, and Sam Wilson are ambushed by the Winter Soldier. During the fight, the Winter Soldier's mask comes off and he looks around at Steve.] _

Steve Rogers: Bucky?

Bucky Barnes: Who the hell is Bucky?

_[They continue to fight as Natasha, Sam, and the civilians watch and commentate in an inappropriately relaxed manner to the tune of_ **“What Do You Say?”** _from Starkid’s_ **Black Friday**. _]_

[NATASHA]

Oh, my god, it's Bucky Barnes

[SAM]

And Steve!

They go way back in time

I think they dated in high school

[SHARON CARTER]

Yep, they were making eyes on the sidelines

[NATASHA]

Do they even recognize?

[SAM]

I don't know

[SHARON CARTER & (SAM)]

Bucky's (Steve has) put on some weight

[NATASHA]

They were given a super serum

[SAM]

Oh, my god

[SHARON CARTER]

Soon they both will be inmates

[NATASHA, SHARON CARTER, & SAM]

What will he say to him?

_ [Stave and Bucky stop fighting briefly, breathless.] _

[STEVE (spoken)]

You know me

[BUCKY (spoken)]

No, I don’t!  _ [He throws a punch] _

[STEVE (spoken)]

You’ve known me your whole life

[BUCKY (spoken)]

Shut up!

_ [They continue fighting as HYDRA agents swarm the scene, lead by Agent Rumlow. Maria Hill is disguised as one of the agents.] _

[RUMLOW]

I heard Steve is seein' things

[AGENT 1 (spoken)]

Only ghosts

[MARIA HILL]

It's called PTSD

[RUMLOW & AGENT 2]

Oh, forget about it

[RUMLOW]

Has he PT-seen his Peggy?

[AGENT 1]

She grew old

[RUMLOW & HILL]

She's not as hot as she used to be

[RUMLOW, AGENT 1, AGENT 2, & HILL]

But that look in their eyes is coming back

All those years they had fun

[RUMLOW & AGENT 1]

But they're both on the sales rack

[HILL]

They are spent

[AGENT 2]

They are cooked

[RUMLOW, AGENT 1, AGENT 2, & HILL]

They are done

[NATASHA, SHARON CARTER, SAM]

Wait, something's on their minds

[RUMLOW, AGENT 1, AGENT 2, & HILL]

Will they opine?

[ONLOOKERS]

Hold on, it's way too painful

[NATASHA, SHARON CARTER, SAM]

For Steve

[RUMLOW, AGENT 1, AGENT 2, & HILL]

Or maybe for Bucky

[ONLOOKERS]

Or maybe for me

What do you say

[NATASHA]

When you love each other?

[ONLOOKERS]

What do you say

[SAM]

When years have passed?

[ONLOOKERS]

What do you say

[RUMLOW]

When there's no more buffer?

[ONLOOKERS]

What do you say?

What do you say?

[STEVE (spoken)]

I'm not gonna fight you. You're my friend. 

_ [Bucky pushes Steve to the ground. He then mercilessly punches Steve repeatedly across the face] _

[BUCKY (spoken)]

You're my mission!

_ [Everyone groans and winces. They then start to mingle like the aren’t o opposite sides or something while continuing to sing and dance around the bloody scene.] _

[ONLOOKERS]

Oh my God, it's a trainwreck

[SHARON CARTER]

My favourite!

[RUMLOW]

Give me my tub of popcorn

[AGENT 2]

Just skip to the fucking!

[AGENT 1]

They’d never!

[ONLOOKERS]

Either way, this is torture porn

[SHARON CARTER]

I think I'll step in and save him

[NATASHA]

You don't have half of a chance, bitch

[HILL]

I don't think either took a shower

[ONLOOKERS]

Oh, my God, someone flip the switch

[SHARON CARTER, HILL, RUMLOW, & SAM]

There! He looked at his crotch!

[NATASHA, AGENT 1, & AGENT 2]

Hey, look at his moves!

[ONLOOKERS]

They're walking a very fine line

Oops, I think we've been caught

Is he looking at mine?

What do you say when you love each other?

What do you say? The years have passed

What do you say when you rediscover?

What do you say?

What do you say?

[STEVE (spoken)]

Bucky? Why did you stop?

[BUCKY (spoken)]

I don’t know...

[ONLOOKERS]

What do you say?

[BUCKY (spoken)]

You're Steve. I read about you in a museum...

[ONLOOKERS]

What do you say?

[BUCKY (spoken)]

Your mom's name was Sarah. You used to wear newspapers in your shoes

[STEVE (spoken)]

You can’t read that in a museum

[ONLOOKERS]

What do you say?

[STEVE (spoken)]

I'm your friend

We were in the army together

You always used to say that you...

[BUCKY (spoken)]

...I’m with you ‘til the end of the line

[ONLOOKERS]

What did he say?

They still love each other

What did he say?

The years have passed (The years have passed)

What do you say when you rediscover?

What do you say?

What do you say?

What do you say?

What do you-

[BUCKY (spoken)]

Say?

[STEVE (spoken)]

Oh, nothing. No, not nothing

Actually, I forgot what I was going to

[ALL]

Say

  
  
  
  


_[And then everyone remembers they're fighting and the movie proceeds as normal.]_


End file.
